The Thing

I got a yarn in. I haven't made a big deal about it even though I want to because I can only get one colour. I can only get one colour because it's just too popular. I got 18 balls in which is all I was allowed at the time and without making a big deal about it - barely even mentioning it - or having anything other than a slightly off white colour, I've sold 12 balls in the last two days and knitted one up myself. Why is it selling so well? Because:

Yes, Amy, it is like knitting kittens... and it's like feeling kittens, stroking kittens and rubbing them on your face. It actually is.

HOLD YOUR HORSES - I'VE SOLD ANOTHER BALL. Ha. This is ridiculous - like promoting chocolate for free - what's the point? Everybody bloody wants it anyway...

So, I got it into my head that I want to make a cropped jumper with long sleeves out of it. I even got Toni to start one too so I would feel like less of a tit. I used a King Cole pattern, shortened it and followed the armholes like normal. Everything was going well - until it wasn't. This stuff actually looks like a polar bear. It's too fluffy - certainly at the gauge that me and Toni were knitting it. But also it has a tendency to stretch width wise which meant that my lovely concept of something like this:

 

from River Island only better because it's knitted by me, ended up looking vaguely pornographic. Well, when I say 'vaguely' I mean 'totally'...

But the thing is SO SOFT! And I so rarely rip back. I had to use it. Look - it's like a little kitten:

 

 It's like that advert for Specsavers - I'd totes try to save that kitten. Anyway, this is the shape:

 

 So I thought I could sew up the top bit and the bottom bit and have a beautiful beautiful hood. AND IT WORKED! LOOK!

Mind my gargantuan chin. I've been wearing it all day and it is warm! No heating here (yet). I'm wearing it mostly like a cowl in the middle and the longer hood bit falls at the back and feels super snuggly but I can imagine wearing this as a hood on the snowy, crispy and cold walks I will make over the Christmas holidays (I'm imagining the walks but let's be honest I'll be mostly boozed in bet. Ahhhh. I might still wear my hood).

Anyway, this hood was made out of exactly one ball. Exactly. When I got to the second sticky uppy bit I ran out like three rows away from the end - luckily I'd left a long tail from the cast on so I stole a bit of that and luckily it was just enough. For this pattern then I've knocked off two stitches and I'm hoping that that'll be just enough to make sure that everybody finishes within the ball (especially as everybody else seems to use less wool than me - see the Unapologetic Hat....). If there's some yarn left I suggest you fashion to ears for maxium 'ahhhhhhh effect'.

With no further ado then, the pattern:

The Thing

Materials:
One ball of King Cole Luxe Fur yarn.
6mm straight needles.
A sewing up needle and some spare yarn in a complementary colour.

Gauge: Doesn't matter a great deal but it's roughly 3.5 sts per inch - it's really hard to check because of the fur.

Cast on 80 stitches.
Work 3 rows in one by one rib.
Work 36 rows in stocking stitch starting with a knit row.
Cast off five stitches at the beginning of the next two rows. (70 sts).
Work 26 rows decreasing a stitch at each end of the first and every alternate row finishing on a purl row. (44 sts).
Row 66: work 2 sts together, k9, turn.
Row 67: work 2 sts together, p to end. (9 sts)
Row 68: work 2 sts together, k to last 2 sts, work 2 sts together. (7 sts)

Row 69 and every alternate row: p.
Row 70: as row 68 (5 sts)

Row 72: as row 68 (3 sts)

Row 73: p3tog, break yarn and fasten off.

With the right side facing (it's hard to see but basically the pointy bit you've just made needs to be on the right side) reintroduce yarn and cast off 33 sts, k to last two stitches, work 2 together.

Work from row 67 to row 73 but swap the shaping (i.e. keep decreasing on the outside edge as before, work a decrease on the next two rows on the inside row and then on every right side row until you get to three stitches which you'll purl three together).

The 'thing' will look like this: 

You need to fold the thing in half, start in the middle of the 33 cast off stitches and sew the two edges together up to the tip of the points (shown in red). Then sew the two edges of the bottom portions together (shown in blue).

Sew in your ends.

Wear. Look like a really cool polar bear thing. :)

If you want this yarn, it isn't going on the internet yet because I can't guarantee to have it in and it's more trouble that it's worth. Once all of the colours come back in stock at King Cole's end then of course I'll put it on there. In the mean time if you want you can give me a call ((0115) 9474239) and pay for it or pop into the shop to pay. I'm not setting any of it aside because, again, I can't guarantee enough to go around as it is never mind having half of it saved for people so tough tits. Buy it. ;)

And that's it! On that slightly aggressive note, I'm offski.

Love Eleanor. xxx